Motherhood Mode: Solo Dolo

So I’m a little bit nervous for Monday. Why, what happens on Monday, you ask? Matt finally starts training on his new job! *Kermit flailing arms* YAAAAAY!!

Yeah, that’s correct, it took almost six months before he got employed again. Curse this economy and its surplus of unemployed people looking for work! It didn’t help that we needed something that pays a lot more than minimum wage and those jobs can afford to be extra picky in who they pick. Thank god for hefty safety accounts, unemployment checks and family that can be supportive. Otherwise this past six months would have been even MORE stressful!

Now I am pleased as punch for Matt to be employed again. We won’t have to worry about budgeting everything quite so tightly and we may even be able to afford some fun things again. But I am afraid at the same time.

You see, Matt has been great to have around with Ivy. This is both of our first baby and neither of us really knew what we were doing before. Swaddling, comforting, diaper changing, bathing, dressing a baby… All of these were things that we learned to do together. It’s been fun and wonderful to have his help and support when Ivy gets hard to handle.

But now he’s going back to work.

Normally Red would be here too; able and more than willing to lend a helping hand every now and again as needed. But he’s actually back in school this semester to take the last class he needs for his animation degree and he’s working the days he’s not at school which means….

It’s gonna be just me and Ivy, 8+ hours a day, Monday through Friday.

It wasn’t until Matt got the job offer that my brain realized just what that meant for me and my days. No Matt or Red to take Ivy when I want to shower. No Matt or Red to help me with Ivy when she’s wailing at the top of her lungs and nothing I do is working. No Matt or Red to watch Ivy so I can cook and eat something. Just me. And Ivy. (And technically the animals but they’re not really much help at all.)

I got a miniature taste of what this will be like when Matt had to go in to do fun new job things like Filling Out Paperwork and Submitting a Back Ground Check and Peeing in a Cup So We Can Check for Drugs. Red was in school and all of this stuff took Matt a while so for about a five hour chunk it was just me and Ivy; the longest chunk of just me and her up to that point.

(This space is reserved to give all parents who do this every day with multiple kids of various ages and single mothers and single fathers time to roll their eyes at me, the poor little spoiled girl who is having her luxury of help taken from her for the first time ever. Boo-hoo, I know, poor me. But seriously, you guys all rock and I can only hope that I’ll get as badass as you guys someday.)

But you know what? I did okay! Even when Ivy was having a bad time and crying a lot I didn’t lose my cool and managed to calm her down ALL BY MYSELF EVEN WHEN I GOT REALLY TIRED AND FLUSTERED. I managed to shower, cook food, even put on makeup (!!!) with no one else to help me out with Ivy.

It was hard and felt way more exhausting than usual but I DID IT. I can do this. I will learn how to take care of Ivy alone in more efficient and fun ways and it might not always be fun or fantastic, but I can do it and we’ll both do better than survive. We’ll thrive. I am still nervous and even a little scared. But I know over all I’ll get through this.

I dunno what being on my own like this will mean for my (already spotty as hell) writing. I hope I’ll be able to post more frequently still. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up using the voice to text function to make some wonky as hell posts. (Talking to write is so much harder than writing to write. Try it sometime! And if it’s easy for you then maybe you’re just more awesome than me.)

I actually managed to block two finished pieces yesterday and Matt, Ivy and I are planning on going to the Taos Sheep and Wool Festival on Saturday so I should hopefully have some new posts up on these things soon.*

*Disclaimer: Soon can mean any period of time from three days from now to 400 days from now. No promises, contracts, litigations, responsibilities, or wishes are implied by use of the word, “soon.” Do not ingest This Post and contact poison control if experiencing any symptoms such as vomiting, hallucinations, Sudden Hand Shrinking Syndrome, or Random Out Of Control Flatulence. Ask your doctor today if This Post is right for you. Stop being bored and start being confused with This Post.

The Yellow Terror

So Matt got a hat that scares the cats. I swear, my desire to share this story was not based entirely around that first sentence its copious rhymes.

The hat in question is this Pikachu hat that is super adorable and I immediately called dibs on it because every year I either try to knit or find the perfect winter hat but this was The One. Granted, calling dibs wasn’t too satisfying in this case since he had got the hat as a present for me but it’s the thought that counts.

It’s super comfy and very silly and I was wearing it while playing Dragon Age II. That’s when my cat, Shy, came in. I didn’t notice until Matt pointed it out, but she was peeking over the edge of the bed with pupils that took up the entirety of her eyes and a tail that looked like a bottle brush. I reached out to her and said, “Shy, it’s just me.” But she ducked away. When I reached further, she shrunk to the floor, all of her fur poofy and her ears were even folded back. Funny enough, removing the hat off of my head made the fear go away. She would sniff the hat and sniff me and even let me touch her but the second the hat got on my head again she was afraid of me once more.

“You should call Monty,” Matt said. “See if he’s afraid of it too.”

Now Monty is not the bravest of cats. He is a big grey and white kitty who has a tendency to run and hide whenever someone new comes over. After enough time has passed that he feels it is safe, he slowly ooches out and investigates them. If they manage to rub really roughly on his face (his favorite way to be pet) then they’ve made a friend for life. But considering that closing a cabinet too loudly makes him run and hide, courage is not exactly his forte.

So I called to Monty who has this delightful habit of meowing back to you when you call him as he makes his way to you. (Sometimes if I’ve spent too long in my room and he forgets where I am he stands in the living room and calls desperately until I answer.) So the scene played out like this:

“Monty!”

“Meow!”

“Monty!”

“Meow!”

“Monty!”

And as he rounded the corner, into the room, he looked up at me and froze. His eyes went wide and his tail slowly started to fluff. He went so rigid that part of me wondered if he thought I was a T-Rex and he was hoping that I wouldn’t be able to see him if he stayed still.

“Monty!” I called to him again but this time he just stayed as still as a statue. I went up to pet him and that’s when his brave facade of courage broke and he ran like hell to hide in the living room.

The hat remains in the dresser drawer I put it in and I’m still here, searching for a new winter hat.