Motherhood Mode: Solo Dolo

So I’m a little bit nervous for Monday. Why, what happens on Monday, you ask? Matt finally starts training on his new job! *Kermit flailing arms* YAAAAAY!!

Yeah, that’s correct, it took almost six months before he got employed again. Curse this economy and its surplus of unemployed people looking for work! It didn’t help that we needed something that pays a lot more than minimum wage and those jobs can afford to be extra picky in who they pick. Thank god for hefty safety accounts, unemployment checks and family that can be supportive. Otherwise this past six months would have been even MORE stressful!

Now I am pleased as punch for Matt to be employed again. We won’t have to worry about budgeting everything quite so tightly and we may even be able to afford some fun things again. But I am afraid at the same time.

You see, Matt has been great to have around with Ivy. This is both of our first baby and neither of us really knew what we were doing before. Swaddling, comforting, diaper changing, bathing, dressing a baby… All of these were things that we learned to do together. It’s been fun and wonderful to have his help and support when Ivy gets hard to handle.

But now he’s going back to work.

Normally Red would be here too; able and more than willing to lend a helping hand every now and again as needed. But he’s actually back in school this semester to take the last class he needs for his animation degree and he’s working the days he’s not at school which means….

It’s gonna be just me and Ivy, 8+ hours a day, Monday through Friday.

It wasn’t until Matt got the job offer that my brain realized just what that meant for me and my days. No Matt or Red to take Ivy when I want to shower. No Matt or Red to help me with Ivy when she’s wailing at the top of her lungs and nothing I do is working. No Matt or Red to watch Ivy so I can cook and eat something. Just me. And Ivy. (And technically the animals but they’re not really much help at all.)

I got a miniature taste of what this will be like when Matt had to go in to do fun new job things like Filling Out Paperwork and Submitting a Back Ground Check and Peeing in a Cup So We Can Check for Drugs. Red was in school and all of this stuff took Matt a while so for about a five hour chunk it was just me and Ivy; the longest chunk of just me and her up to that point.

(This space is reserved to give all parents who do this every day with multiple kids of various ages and single mothers and single fathers time to roll their eyes at me, the poor little spoiled girl who is having her luxury of help taken from her for the first time ever. Boo-hoo, I know, poor me. But seriously, you guys all rock and I can only hope that I’ll get as badass as you guys someday.)

But you know what? I did okay! Even when Ivy was having a bad time and crying a lot I didn’t lose my cool and managed to calm her down ALL BY MYSELF EVEN WHEN I GOT REALLY TIRED AND FLUSTERED. I managed to shower, cook food, even put on makeup (!!!) with no one else to help me out with Ivy.

It was hard and felt way more exhausting than usual but I DID IT. I can do this. I will learn how to take care of Ivy alone in more efficient and fun ways and it might not always be fun or fantastic, but I can do it and we’ll both do better than survive. We’ll thrive. I am still nervous and even a little scared. But I know over all I’ll get through this.

I dunno what being on my own like this will mean for my (already spotty as hell) writing. I hope I’ll be able to post more frequently still. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up using the voice to text function to make some wonky as hell posts. (Talking to write is so much harder than writing to write. Try it sometime! And if it’s easy for you then maybe you’re just more awesome than me.)

I actually managed to block two finished pieces yesterday and Matt, Ivy and I are planning on going to the Taos Sheep and Wool Festival on Saturday so I should hopefully have some new posts up on these things soon.*

*Disclaimer: Soon can mean any period of time from three days from now to 400 days from now. No promises, contracts, litigations, responsibilities, or wishes are implied by use of the word, “soon.” Do not ingest This Post and contact poison control if experiencing any symptoms such as vomiting, hallucinations, Sudden Hand Shrinking Syndrome, or Random Out Of Control Flatulence. Ask your doctor today if This Post is right for you. Stop being bored and start being confused with This Post.

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