This is super Half-Assed and for that I am sorry

So my life is still a nightmare moving dystopia, full of boxes and no internet (we won’t get it installed until next Friday so this will have to count as an update until then) AND I literally got into a car accident not 45 minutes ago on the way to the old house to get the very last of our stuff (everyone is okay except my poor car) but hey I have access to internet now so in between filing accident reports and insurance claims I figured this was the perfect time to accept my Liebster Award that Orange Smoothie nominated me for! Thank you!

liebster2

I actually saw this a few days back but it turns out, despite all my time and effort spent on focusing my latent psychic powers, I can’t summon a wifi signal at will. SO. Now that I have secured some (temporary) access to the wonderful webbernet I can do this post up nice ‘n’ proper!

Like many, I had never heard of the Liebster before but a quick click-a-roo on the link provided by Orange Smoothie and I found out that this is a handy way to help spread the word on new blogs and try to build little additions to the blogging community! A more thorough explanation can be found here but the gist of it is simply:

Here’s how it works:

Make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated you. Include the Liebster Award sticker in the post too.

Nominate 5 -10 other bloggers who you feel are worthy of this award. Let them know they have been nominated by commenting on one of their posts. You can also nominate the person who nominated you.

Ensure all of these bloggers have less than 200 followers.

Answer the eleven questions asked to you by the person who nominated you, and make eleven questions of your own for your nominees or you may use the same questions.

Lastly, COPY these rules in your post.

((You guys I swear I am trying to find people to nominate but I have always failed at this “being social” aspect of the internet and it doesn’t help that there isn’t an easy way to find NEW bloggers on WordPress so I have spent the as much time as I can right now to actually look but I have to go be an adult again and pack stuff and worry about getting my car across town so I SWEAR I will come back and replace this stupid rambling parenthetical with an actual list of nominees, I SWEAR))

The questions I had to answer:

  1. What is your dream vacation?

I would love to go on an all-expenses-paid trip to Japan, more specifically Osaka. I love food and I want to try as much unique local cuisine as I possibly can and Osaka seems like it would be a very foreign, fun experience.

  1. What is your favorite method of creating (knitting, crocheting, weaving, something else)?

I would have to say knitting, though I love telling stories too (I just lack a lot of the drive to actually commit said stories to paper). Knitting helps me clear my head and work out my twitchy, anxious energy into something constructive. It makes me feel connected with the women in my family’s past, who also loved to knit. If it wasn’t for my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome I would partake in it much more than I do.

  1. What creative achievement are you most proud of?

In high school I was taking a crafts class but had been out of the country visiting family for 3 weeks and was thus super behind. I had ten assignments I had not finished and so had ten zeroes on my grade. I walked into my teacher’s office and just started talking. I talked and I talked and by the end of my talk 9 out of 10 of those zeroes had been turned into 100% apropos nothing and I have no memory of what I said to convince her that this was the right thing to do but it was quite an achievement, I’d say.

  1. If you had a superpower, which one would it be?

The ability to manipulate time. Being able to stop time for a bit so I can catch up on all the things I need to do sounds heavenly.

  1. What does a perfect day look like to you?

Overcast, no hotter than 75º , maybe a light drizzle, and nothing to make me leave the house that day.

  1. If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be?

Probably the above at #3. I want to hear the BS I spun to pull that off.

  1. How did you get into the blogging world?

I found The Blogess after buying her first book and from her I found Amalah. These writers are just so personable and funny that I found myself sitting there thinking, “This. I want to do this.”

  1. If money wasn’t an issue, where in the world would you live?

Probably somewhere on the west coast, like Washington or Oregon. Maybe it comes from living in a desert but I crave rain, green trees, and much cooler temperatures.

  1. What is your favorite show and why?

Oooh a toss-up between Rick and Morty and Steven Universe. Rick and Morty is hilarious and full of very wry, very dark humor which is right up my alley. Steven Universe does a lot of really good world building and has characters that I genuinely care about (this show has made me cry SO MUCH).

  1. If you could recommend just one place in your country to a tourist, what would it be?

Carlsbad Caverns. They’re huge, gorgeous, and really make you understand where all the stories about scary things living underground come from. Pictures don’t do it justice.

  1. Do you have pets? If so, please post a photo! If not, what pet would you like to have if time, money, allergies didn’t come into play?

MONTY AND SHY

Right now I have these two spoiled kitty cats (Monty is the grey and white one and Shy is the black one) though in the past I have had corn snakes, eyelash crested geckos, and tropical freshwater fish tanks. If I had the time I would love to get a hedgehog. They’re so cute!

((I decided it would be silly to put questions with 0 nominees right now so this too will be retooled after I actually find people. BE AMAZED AT MY PLANNING PROWRESS!))

Phew! Better get this up and get back to the very last of the packing that I’m supposed to be doing! (Waaaaahhh!) While I can’t post until I have more access to internet I am gonna try to keep writing during the black out time so there may be a huge slew of posts come Friday. We shall seeeeee!

After these messages…

Uggghhhh, sorry for the MIA-ness going on lately. Still deep in the middle of moving and even though we have like, two more weeks to transfer everything* we’ve all been hauling butt, trying to get it all over ASAP because this house has come to represent all our life’s stresses and worries (or maybe that’s just me).

I hate moving and thought that I could do some quick procrastinating by writing a quick update. Plus our new place doesn’t have internet yet and we haven’t even set up the installation so who knows when that is gonna happen and gaaaahhhhh.

I have been handling all the stress and worry with the same finesse I always have which is to say I’ve never been crankier, have burst into tears at the drop of a hat, and am resisting the urge to just curl up into a ball and hide until it all magically gets done by itself. (Though somehow I have managed to finish knitting one Hitchhiker shawl and immediately start on another one because PRIORITIES PEOPLE.)

Oh and in between all of this I’ve been trying to arrange a surprise party for Matt because his birthday is on Tuesday.**

So far I have gotten him:

Fixings for a silly, little kid-esque party including banners, floofy party hats, confetti, noise makers, tiaras, etc.

All the expansions for Skyrim (sort of a present for me too, actually)

Another big fancy board game that actually won’t be delivered until after his birthday has passed

And all the materials needed to make a truly epic, wrecktastic birthday cake for him. I’m gonna try to draw Trogdor on the cake. Expect pictures.

I want this to be a surprise for him though cause he’s the kind of person who would enjoy a surprise party. I don’t know how much of a party it will be since we’re in the middle of moving but hey, I’m trying, right?

My body apparently didn’t think I was being given quite enough stress right now because when I was brushing my hair this morning, I found something awful. A small, oval shaped spot on my skin that kind of divets down, feels scaly in the middle, and has a nice pink ring all the way around it.

It is a herald spot and it is heralding the arrival of an old foe: pityriasis rosea. I had this once in college and as the internet has helpfully taught me, it’s name means “pink scales” because it essentially coats your torso in little round scaly patches of itch and sorrow.

It looks and feels just like it did the first time I got it (though the internet also said that return cases are super rare! LUCKY ME!) so I know that in a few weeks I’m gonna be coated in these suckers and my nightmare will begin anew. My favorite thing is that it can last anywhere from 4-10 weeks, is fairly unknown in cause and origin (virus suspected), and there isn’t a god damned thing I can do about it.

So try to contain your joy for me; I’ll be over here, hiding under boxes and slathering myself in calamine lotion! *sob*

*I had to jump up in the middle of writing that sentence because I had just realized that Matt and Red had driven off to take a van load of stuff to the new place but hadn’t taken the apartment keys with them.

**Don’t worry about this post somehow spoiling my plans. He tried keeping up with my blog back when I first started it but he isn’t much of a reader and he always forgets about it. But don’t feel too bad for me; I use that fact for the occasional guilt trip when he’s getting mad at me for leaving a book on his night stand or something.

On this very special episode of Hoarders…

I… I have a confession to make.

I, Katie, am a Yarn Hoarder.

Like most knitters, it’s hard for me, nay close to impossible, for me to go into any sort of store that carries yarn and not walk out with at least three skeins that would be just perfect for that pattern I’m eyeing, that was just needing this perfect yarn to be something I will TOTALLY make right now and I’ll finish it in a reasonable amount of time! I promise!

(I’m lying.)

Not counting the little Loch Ness monster who is waiting for me to knit her back flippers, I currently have 3 WIP (work(s) in progress for you who lack the knitting vernacular). One of ’em I haven’t touched in oh…. Six months? More? It’s a scarf that I know I posted pictures of before but I hit that point where it’s just really long and BOOOORRRRRINNG.

My shawl that I started near a month ago hit a snag (not literally) when I got to the point where I went, “Oh God, I’ve done so much but I’m still not even halfway! AUGH!” Also, I think I put it down because I was supposed to be packing and I didn’t want to be distracting myself from getting ready to move.

Guess how well that worked out. *hackcoughcoughSkyrimcoughcough*

I’m also completely struck by how much yarn I actually own. As I clean up the room and go through all of mine and Matt’s things I keep coming upon stray skeins of yarn, left out or tucked away in strange corners. A few of them had a small swatch attached, still on the knitting needles, remnants of a project started eons ago, the purpose of which is lost to Time and Dust Bunnies.

I always frog the small knitted thing, rewrap the skein, and add it to my increasingly full plastic bin of yarn. My stash is becoming a true sight to behold even though this is after I went through the whole damn thing, throwing out yarn that had been eaten by moths and was literally dissolving in my hands (sob!).

So you’d think that the last thing I would do right now would be to buy more yarn, right?

Yeah, I bought more yarn yesterday.

And started a new project on it. (I blame Orange Smoothie who wrote a post about a neat-o pattern called the Hitchhiker, which burrowed it’s way into my brain and I couldn’t stop thinking about trying it and OH GEEZ I BOUGHT THE PATTERN HOW DID THAT HAPPEN HMMMM NOW I GUESS I NEED MORE YARN BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON’T HAVE ANY OF THAT LYING AROUND HERP A DERP)

Actually I’m gonna also pass the buck on the blame for the yarn because I didn’t even want to go to the craft store yesterday, you guys. No, really! I didn’t! Red wanted to go so he could price check various supplies for his art makin’ and I decided to tag along because apparently I have just met myself and don’t know anything about my own bad habits.

When we walked up to the check out I had yarn and knitting needles* and Red had nothing. Yeah, the person responsible for that little outing didn’t have a damn thing to buy. Bah.

Though I did make myself pack three boxes before I let myself knit anything with my new yarn and new pattern. Here’s hoping I actually finish this project instead of letting it gather dust like my other ones. Yarn Hoarder OUT!

*Why is it I can never remember what knitting needle sizes I already own? If I decide I must have a pair of sevens lying around I can never find them and have to go back to the craft store before starting my project, which is maddening OR I decide to save myself that grief and buy a pair only to get home and find six pairs of the same size. Oy.

Semi Charmed Life

Trying to keep up my high score in “Being an Adult” the most unfun game around. I’ve been doing pretty good aside from nearly breaking my toe by opening the door too quickly. (Flung open the bedroom door without paying attention, heard the most horrible CRUNCH just as I started to see stars from the pain. I slammed my big toe and pulled the door over it somehow, bending back a good third of my toenail and bruising the shit out of the flesh underneath. The swear words that came out of my mouth were… Inspired to say the least.)

Had to run around and do a lot of Grown Up chores this morning and I still have more to do. I’m trying to keep up with my 2-3 boxes packed everyday and due to a payroll mix up, I have to drive to the main office to pick up my check (which is supposed to be ready at four but god knows if that will really happen or not and if it’s not where am I supposed to get money to help with our move this Saturday and GAAAHHHH.)

So feelin’ stressed, feelin’ frantic, but also glad that I managed to not get merged into by the two semis that tried their damnedest to make their truck and my car become One.

I am always hyper aware of semi-trucks on the road. If I have to be next to one for any reason whatsoever (i.e. someone in front of me is not going quickly enough to let me pass them and get out of the Danger Zone) I am like a groundhog on crack; huddled over my steering wheel, casting quick, frantic looks at the semi, poised for the moment when… AHA! His turn signal is on! Run away!

Both times a semi merged today I was stuck in his blind spot, audibly begging the car in front of me to please just go a little faster OMG when I noticed those wonderful little side lights flicking on, indicating that he wanted to merge and OH JESUS HERE HE COMES! *wild swerving*

I think my hyper awareness of semis comes from the time one seriously almost killed me. I was young, stupid, and driving by myself to Arizona to visit a friend for my birthday (in fact this happened the day before my birthday so it would have been extra tragic had I actually bitten the dust).

I was stuck on one of those roads that connects interstates where it’s one lane one way, one lane the other way and the speed limit was 65. The guy leading our little Car Parade was going 40. I ooched left of him a few times, trying to find a clear spot where I could pass. Finally, I saw my opportunity and decided to take it. The lines said I could pass, I couldn’t see any oncoming traffic, so I shot into the left lane, stomped on my gas, shooting up to about 90 mph (I wanted to get around him ASAP for obvious reasons).

The guy I was trying to pass shot up to 90 mph as well. So did the next three cars in the parade. I hadn’t even been over for more than a few seconds when I saw a semi in My Lane, driving towards me. I looked over at King of Assholes.

He wasn’t slowing down.

I tried to slow down to get behind him.

He slowed down with me.

I sped up again and saw he was speeding up too when I noticed the semi was starting to try to pull into the shoulder because Holy Shit we were going to collide.

Not caring if the guy was right next to me anymore I swerved out of the oncoming traffic’s lane and back into my own. By the time I was back in my lane and not the semi’s, there was less than one car length between me and a head on collision with the semi. And I was doing close to 80 at that point. I would have been a pink smear on that semi’s hood is all I’m sayin’.

Oh and King of Assholes? The guy who seriously almost murdered me because he didn’t want me to pass him? He slowed down as much as possible until I quickly lost him because I think he was afraid I would try to pull him over so I could kill him with a tire iron. Or at the very least pull him over so I could get his information and try to press charges.

I didn’t try to pull him over though. I was shaking so much from the adrenaline hitting me and I just decided to keep going.

Now this story is hard to tell without making it sound like it took three to five minutes to happen. It was probably closer to 30 seconds or one minute all together. It was so, so fast and I have had an almost phobia level of fear of semi trucks and trying to pass someone on a road like that ever since.

It’s funny how my mind went totally blank when it happened too. Like, I never had any cohesive thoughts after I saw the semi. The last thing to cross my mind was just one word, “Shit.” And then it was like a switch flipped in my brain and I became all reactions and muscle memory. Nothing resembling words or higher thoughts came into my head until it was all over and I was Safe.

Which is good, I guess cause it helped me get out of that situation, but still. It’s kind of funny to think that if the worst case scenario had actually happened, my last word on this earth would have been, “Shit.” Kind of fitting in a way.

A Teaspoon of Effort, a Pound of Reward

I demand accolades for I! *pause for dramatic effect* Have been packing!

The lease on our house is up at the end of August and we can start moving our stuff into our new place on the 15th. The fact that I am starting to pack now is a big freaking deal for me because normally my packing process is as follows:

1. Start going through things. Slowly.

2. Find a book or something that I haven’t seen in YEARS OH MY GOD I WONDERED WHERE THIS WENT!

3. Abandon packing process entirely to sit on floor and read long lost recovered book.

4. Finish book or get caught by husband and/or friend who want a progress report.

5. Shrug it off with a, “I’ll pack later.”

6. Repeat steps 1-5 until precisely two days before the move.

7. Go into AAAAAA PANICE MODE because nothing is packed and Holy Shit what the hell have I been doing with all this time?

8. Start hastily throwing things into trash bags and old boxes because seriously, it doesn’t matter if it is literally trash or not we need to get this shit out of here so we can clean! Nooooo our deposit!

9. End up at new place with roughly 4.5 million boxes and/or bags that are full of things you swore to yourself the last time you moved that you would get rid of because you are tired of lugging this shit around dammit!

REPEAT UNTIL YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON (HA!) OR DIE

Now this may shock you, but that process stresses me out so damn much. I mean, I’m pretty sure moving is at least a little bit stressful no matter what but it turns out that hiding in the corner, covering your ears and pretending that it isn’t actually happening doesn’t help at all. Man, I’m just throwing down all kinds of previously unknown truths today. *cough cough* Sorry about that, I must have some bull shit caught in my throat or something. Oofa.

ANYHOW I think I’ve finally found a way to break this vicious cycle by having someone actively helping me at all times. This may seem like a cop out but hey, no one goes from not being able to do something to just magically being awesome at it so I’ll take my baby steps with pride. Besides, friend and roommate Red has no problem with helping me and honestly couldn’t be nicer about it.

(He’s really good at being like, “Put the book down.” When I start falling back into my Old Ways. And he’ll let me put on whatever embarrassing music I want to rock out to while we sort crap. You can’t buy friendship that good.)

There was some humorous moments during packing today though. Red and I were working on our joint work studio (he is an animator and I uh, do this, I guess. You should totally check out his site!) Towards the beginning of the packing I started getting distracted by my own underarm funk (every time I would reach up for something I would find myself being like, “Ugh, what died? OH GOD THAT’S MEEEEEEE.”) so I needed to go take a shower. Red said he would continue packing without me.

I had just finished stripping when Red knocked on the door to mine and Matt’s room. I tried shouting something about, “Hey! Not now! Getting in the shower!” But Red didn’t hear any of the words, just me calling and figured that meant, “Come on in!” and started opening the door.

I panicked and unable to find a towel close by, I jumped into our linens closet. That I didn’t actually fit into so I couldn’t shut the door all the way. I heard the door open and Red was like, “Hello?”

“I AM HIDING IN A CLOSET RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh? Oh. OH! OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BIGGER BOX I’LL LEAVE.”

“Here’s what we’ll do!” I yelled. “You’ll leave, I’ll put the box by the door and then I’ll jump back in the closet and you can grab the box! EVERYONE WINS.”

So we did just that. In retrospect we probably could have waited until after I showered but it’s all good. Everyone’s dignity remained mostly in tact and nothing happened that would be any cause for alarm.

Although, as if to add insult to injury, while I showered Red’s dog Shelby threw up all over our stair case and I stepped immediately into the resulting wet spots. Because of course I did.

Let’s hope I can keep up the pace of packing and turn this into my first not 100% horrible moving experience! Now then, I’m off to reward my hard work with 10+ hours of video games.

Skyrimming (Not as dirty as it sounds)

GAH I forgot how much of my time Skyrim eats up. Matt’s alarm goes off for work and while normally the sound of the loud MIDI music would cause me to hiss at the approaching dawn and fling pillows in his general direction because SERIOUSLY. TURN. THAT. SHIT. OFF. NOW! Now I bolt awake faster than he does, excited that I can start playing again.

Well, that’s kind of an exaggeration (GASP! A blog with hyperbole? NO WAY). It’s more like I flop about uselessly for a bit as my brain tries to get started and remember things like, “How Legs Work” and “Where is Coffee?” And then comes the inevitable breaking of the fast and I leisurely read the new articles posted on Cracked until suddenly I remember why I was so excited to wake up in the first place.

When it comes to most of my favorite things, the factor that guarantees my love the most is Story. If it has a good Story, then I am hooked. It doesn’t matter if it’s a book, movie, TV series, video game, flash animation, what have you. I am there. I know all the Things. I am the person you back away from slowly while whispering to yourself, “Jesus Christ, she needs to get a life.”

The point is, Skyrim DELIVERS on that story. I have spent God knows how long on the internet reading about various lore and things tied to the world of Nirn and the continent of Tamriel. They have books in the game, right? I read the books. ALL OF THEM. If there is something I don’t quite get or seems ambiguous WELP BETTER PULL UP THE WIKI AND SEE WHAT I CAN READ. (Seriously, I have a Problem.)

Now there are definitely games with More Story in them. Dragon Age is a great example of games that take your dialogue choices and things that you do and have them influence a BUTT LOAD of the story. I kept having conversations about things that were happening in my game with friends who had played and they were like, “What? That never happened with me! What do you mean she’s dead? If she’s dead then what happened during that one mission?” A total blast.

But Skyrim is too Big for that. If they tried to implement the same sort of influence your decision thing from Dragon Age the game would take roughly A HOJILLION more hours to make and the cost would reflect that. It just isn’t feasible. As much as that sucks, it makes sense and I think it’s a worthy trade off.

Plus you can always do what I do and Add More Story.

Matt loves watching me play because I like to sit and say things about Who My Character Is and Why He Would Do This and what his back story is and why he fell in love with that one girl and the Secret Vows they told each other on their wedding night and all kinds of things.

A lot of it comes from my brain’s inability to ever shut up. I just see things and add twists onto them, like the racist comment that one guy made against Elves makes my Dark Elf character’s heart break (she had a crush on him!) so she leaves the Companions, never to return.

And of course the game is constantly like, “Hey, go finish those quests you never completed.” And I’m like, “Shut up Game! My Khajiit decided he’s going to rise above the system and not become a thief or an assassin like his kin! He’s going to be Different! A Hero!”

I just have so much fun trying to think about my character as a Real Person and figure out what drives them to Do the things they Do. I know some people raise an eyebrow in confusion at my strange antics but it honestly makes the game so much more fun. Matt is constantly trying to get me to in some way record the things I think up since there are people who do that and find audiences for it, but I dunno. It’s like a Relaxation thing for me and I’m not sure if I would enjoy turning it into a Work sort of thing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see a little boy about a murder.

Look on the Bright Side

This was a pretty rough weekend, especially last night. But rather than focus on the negatives I’m gonna try and make a list of things that are good and make me happy right now.

  1. My therapist is finally back from his 3 week vacation so I can FINALLY go and have a good long talk with him again.
  2. I have friends who get Angry Mama Bear defensive of me when they feel that I am being hurt or treated poorly.
  3. I went through three boxes of my stuff yesterday and managed to get rid of a good chunk of crap that I didn’t need anymore.
  4. It has been raining a lot everyday lately.
  5. My chocolate mint plant is finally recovering from when I thought the rain we were getting was enough to water it and then about half of its leaves promptly withered and fell off because (no shit) even with the rain it has been spiking past 100º here during the day and it takes maybe 20 seconds for the moistness in its soil to dry out completely, leaving my poor mint gasping for water while I ignored its cries and thanked my lucky stars that nature was doing all the hard work for me.
  6. I started playing Skyrim again for the first time in a long while and have been thoroughly sucked in once again, allowing me to get out of my negative head space for a while and instead be an Argonian thief who wants to marry a wonderful Orc.
  7. And this morning, while I was using the bathroom, this happened:
I guess she likes having a captive cuddle buddy <3

I guess she likes having a captive cuddle buddy ❤